July.
Half of 2020 has gone by and what a first-half it has been. It started with me looking forward to a fresh start, given what has happened in the last five years; the painful losses and near losses.
The lessons taught to me have been very costly, many of which are of my own doing. I wish I could say that dramatic changes have been made by me due to these lessons, but sad to say, there have been, but not at a rate or cadence I expected.
I wish I could have done better, could be doing better, will do better, but it is so hard. A friend said to me, “Wow! You really don’t get things easy in life”. That was in response to a silly thing that I was griping about. It was just a casual comment that was meant to be funny, but it struck me pretty hard as I was caught up in all that was going on.
To be fair, there are many beautiful things that I am grateful for in life that just fell onto my lap. But I was just letting the negatives ones overwhelm me. This is another thing that I really need to work on.
Why am I writing this? I’m not so sure myself. Maybe it’s just how this year has been turning out to be, and I am just finding a way to organise my thoughts. It is just my way of taking stock of what has happened so far, and reflect on how I should proceed for the next half of this year given the unknowns.
